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finally! [Jan. 23rd, 2006|12:50 am]
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[mood |relievedrelieved]
[music |watchin 12 oz. mouse (weirdness on adult swim)]

so I made amends w/ my step-sister tonite. A beautiful thing all in all!! I messaged her on myspace about how I thought it was stupid that we hadn't talked for 10 months and that I had still cared about her and how I forgave her regardin all that shit that had went on waaay back in the day. I was always scared to go to her tho cuz I thought she'd blow me off, but.. she was actually very happy that I did and was even thinkin about contacting me herself for some time. Go figure!! so yeah, a huge burden has now been lifted off my chest. I'm glad I swallowed my pride and did what needed to be done. A very good night it has been indeed! :)
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pain in my... [Jan. 4th, 2006|08:05 pm]
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I hurt my neck reeeally bad the other night at work. I've been drugged up on some percocet and have been skrate sleepin for the past few daze. It's been awful!! It's crazy to think how much I take my health/well-being for granted. Thankfully, my neck is starting to feel better and I totally give praise to God for it! He's such an amazing healer.
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holla day... [Dec. 25th, 2005|01:12 am]
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[mood |gratefulgrateful]

MERRY CHRIMUS EVERYONE!!! :)
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oh my gosh I'm updating... [Dec. 19th, 2005|12:25 am]
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[mood |happyhappy]
[music |Frou Frou]

So I'm in Jacksonville right now staying at Ruth's house. I came down for the weekend since those are my off daze and so that I could see mewithoutYou, Underoath, As Cities Burn and the Chariot. Well us gurls didn't get tix in advance and the show ended up selling out. Surprisingly I wasn't all that bummed. I've been wanting to go to this for awhile now and I mean yah it sucked that we missed it, but I wasnt pissed or anything which was awesome. We instead went to European Street, a restaurant that also sold imported wines and beers. It was very nice!! I got a chicken salad sammich (one of my fav things to order)and some bacon and potato soup. It was delich! I also had some semi-sweet white wine called "blue nun" and Ruth had her favorite, woodpecker cider. We really had an awesome night altogether. We talked for hours and really "caught up" which is a good thing becuz it's been awhile. I really am thankful for Ruth. She's such a dear friend of mine. Has been since I can remember. This morning we went to church and I got to meet the guy that Ruth has been crushing on. It was the cutest thing to see Ruth "mingle" with this guy. I mean, the gurl has been on maybe 2 dates her entire life, has never had a boyfriend and is about as holy as they come. She is absolutely beautiful too and is the sweetest gurl you'll ever meet. I told her I approved of this guy and kinda got excited for her cuz I know she would enjoy the whole "dating" thing. I'm a bit protective of her though becuz I really don't want any losers screwin her over. Which, is why I went to church w/ her specifically to meet this guy! haha. Yeah, I didn't really care for the service. It was babtist and the pastor gave a horrible sermon. It was not interesting or edifying in the least. But anywaze, it rained all day which sucked cuz we were plannin on goin to the park with some other ppl from the church to play ultimate frisbee and disk golf. Poo on the rain man!! Oh and last night was awful cuz it rained the whole ride ova here and I was a nervous wreck cuz the roads were slick and it consistantly poured so everyone on the road was freakin out. It was pretty scary and I'm usually not scared to drive in the rain. I then met Ruth at Jack Rabbits, a small, shitty venue to see Band Marino, Gasoline Heart, and Kris Roe from the Ataris. I mainly went to see Kris cuz I hadn't seen him since my gurl Chrissy was dating him (years ago) and he was always giving us tickets to every festival/show around, so I kinda felt the need to support him. He freaked when he saw me and was overly excited. I didn't know why but then realized it was cuz I'm one of Chrissy's best friends and I could totally tell that he was still in love with her. We talked about her for a good while and he really misses her. He happens to be single now and apparently wants to be with her again but homegurl is in a serious relationship which he thinks is bullshit. Well yeah, I'm happy for Chrissy now, I didn't trust Kris then and besides, she doesn't need a finicky, overrated rockstar. F-in losers. So, now that I've talked all about my friends and guys...
My Christmas is in 5 daze!! I'm so excited! I can't wait to see my crazy but awesome family. I haven't spent actual Christmas with them since 03' cuz for some reason I had to be in S.C. both times. Yeah. That won't be happening ever again. It was so funny to look back on here at the X-mas entries where I was soo excited to be in S.C. cuz I was spending it with Ben (the ex from G-ville.) He's engaged now to the gurl that we broke up ova btw. I guess that's a good thing. I let him go to be with her which was obviously God's plan. His mama still wants him to be with me though. Isn't that just hilarious?!
So friday is Joe and Liz's party. I've kinda invited everyone I know. (they told me to so it's cool.) It will be fun to see a lot of ppl that are just visiting for Christmas that I haven't seen in forevah. Oh and the guy I'm crushing on is also coming!! (ur prolly reading this, hi there!, haha.) I've yet to meet him so I'm pretty excited. I hafta leave the 26th though for work, which sux cuz I kinda wanted to spend more time down there. I'll get to see Chrissy the day after!! yay! It's been a good 5 months since I've seen her or talked to her on the fone cuz of the long distance. I really miss her and am sooo glad I'll have a good friend with me it tally!! I'll no longer be extremely bored and lonely! I wanna throw her a "welcome home" party but I don't know anyone around. Well, I might talk to her bf about it and have him invite loads of ppl and I'll just be the host. Hmmm.. we'll see. So new years is in 2 weeks and I'll be with Chrissy I'm assuming so that will be fun! I remember back in 02' me and my ex Jeremy went up to the Blue Guitar where Chrissy was working that new years. It was so funny cuz Chrissy made me take a jello shot when I was totally against alcohol. I think I was mad at Jeremy for having some wine too. Haha. Man how things have changed with me! Well it's movie time with Ruth! Cindy has the largest collection of dvds so I've totally been takin advantage of it while I've been here. :)
~HOLLA!
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hiiiya!!! [Oct. 30th, 2005|10:07 pm]
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So I work at Bed Bath & Beyond now. It's awesome! I'm lovin it. Livin in Tally is pretty tight. Don't really know many ppl here tho so it sux. I like the fact that there are lots of shows here. Good lil music scene indeed. I've only caught a few tho since I've been uber broke. I've been relyin on my cousins since I moved here. It took me 2 friggin months until I found my job so it's been toughness fa real. My house is lookin really good now. I've done lots of work to it. I'm thinkin about gettin a roommate soon so I can get some extra moolah. Umm, I'm very much single these daze. It kinda sux but I'm cool w/ it. I put a new pic up on here. I never write in this anymore. Myspace is much cooler indeed.:)
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florida bloody florida [Aug. 18th, 2005|02:23 pm]
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[mood |boredbored]
[music |Depeche Mode~Black Celebration]

so im at my moms house for a few daze. I've officially left Greenville after bein there a whole year. So weird to be back in Florida. I don't even feel like I have a home anymore it sux. I should be returning to Tallahassee this weekend. All my stuff is sitting in the living room and the house is like a complete disaster. I'm gonna hafta put so much work into that place. Like I hafta buy some paint b4 I return cuz I refuse to move into my room til it's all painted. I'll be doin that first thing when I return. Oh an the kitchen is just hideous! Ugh, I'm gonna go crazy cuz I want my house to be comforting and right now thats not even the case. :( I also hafta find a job like asap! I think my cousin and uncle might have found me an office job and I'm of course gonna apply at a crap load of restaurants. Man the band 30 seconds to mars sounds just like the used. what a rip off band. Oh Death Cabs new cd is gonna be out aug. 30th!! I'm sooo stoked about that!! I'm glad I'll be in Tally where a lot of shows are held. John Vanderslice and Portastatic are playing in Oct. and a heck of a lot of othas. Its gonna be greatness! I've so missed some good shows while living in Greenville. Tonight I'm going to see all ages, smb project, and lucky you which is Joe Bennetts band. I'm kinda excited cuz it'll be like the old daze! My gurls Liz and Jenny will be goin too and oh how I've missed havin some good gurlfriends around. I saw Curchy and Petah the otha nite play. It was for real like back in the day. I saw a crap load of ppl from skool and da O.G. too and that was cool. I feel really weird down here. Like I'm lost and I don't know where I belong. I'm so ready to settle down somewhere where I feel fit. Greenville was beautiful but oh the drama and total crap that went on there. I swear I'll never be able to trust ppl again after living there. I've never been screwed ova so much in my life!! Ridiculous really. It sux too cuz this guy Joel is like madly in love with me there and wants me to return and I just don't know if I could ever live there again. An as much as I've had second thoughts about moving back simple becuz of him, I just dont really know if I could. I really am scared about livin in Tally. I really hope all goes well. I think I'm crazy though. As to whether or not I'm making right decisions when honestly I don't know what the hell I'm doing. My life is so outta whack these daze. Anywaze, enuff talk about me and how I'm feeling deep down, ha. I've been babysitting my Gma lately. Shes really ill in the mind. Its horrible! Today she walked ova to the neighbors house and asked them if they knew her mom becuz she swore that she lived there. I couldnt keep her in the house either cuz she literally was fighten me off and yellin about how her mom lived next door and she had to see her. Yeah. Insane. It was embarrasing. Ugh, I feel bad for my mom. Shes been livin with my gma for almost a month now and although its a great idea (better than her in the home), my mom is completly stressed. An its been so long since Ive seen her like this. My mom is just like me and it takes A LOT to make her extremely stressed so I know its like really tough right now. Gosh I'm tired. I need some sleep and I cant nap cuz I gotta watch my grandma. Once my mom gets home I gotta -jet to Jennys- (sounds like a band name!)ha, cuz i gotta charge up my fone and get ready ova there for the show tonite. I've been so friggin bored here. I'm so rambling on about crap and I dont even care to revise this or anything. I get to see Chrissy saturday I think. That will be greatness since shes leaving for Italy for 6 months. So awesome that is. My nephews b-day is next week!!! hes gonna be 7!! Oh my lil Nathan. Gosh I love that kid with all of my heart. Hes having his bday at Wet n Wild. Hopefully I wont be in training or workin that day cuz i cant miss this for the world! Me and that boy will have so much fun there!! I'm totally excited! :)My whole family will be there too which will be nice. Oh I love music choice on satelite tv. I forgot what its like to have some good music jammin otha than my cds. Thursday sux live btw. The funniest thing though is that a bird made its next in my moms fireplace, so along with my music all u here is like 3 birds chirpen like crazy! Its quite freaky and annoying! I hope they can get outta there though. My mom is surely gonna lite her fireplace up come winter and I doubt shell get anyone to come and clean that mug out. Hmm. Yeah. Not a nice picture. Well I gotta go play on myspace. I gotta talk to my Joeliam. :) HOLLAAA!!!
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La te da.... [Aug. 3rd, 2005|11:49 pm]
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[mood |calmcalm]
[music |John Vanderslice]

So I'm actually moving earlier than sept. 1, now. Crap went down with my roommate (she couldnt pay rent evah) and so now I'm dippin out next tuesday (the 9th). It's really crazy, but I'm use to doing spontaneous things these daze. I can't believe I'm moving back to Florida. I guess it's just where I belong. Honestly, it's for the best that I leave Greenville cuz it will be cheaper for me to live and I'll have money for skool! Which is so not the case here. It's so hard to live completely on your own while being a server. Not the ideal life/job by any means. I've had a lot of problems w/ the step family as well (which has made me wanna move even more) but hopefully before I leave I'll be able to make some type of amends with them. It sux having ppl hold grudges and having animosity towards you. Ugggh, forgive forgive forgive I say! But anywaze, I'm just excited that I'll be able to have cable and internet (cuz I'll be able to afford it now) at my Gmas house. No rent whatsoever!! An it's a nice 3 bdrm. house with me and only me living there! No roommates thank God! My life has been so chotic here and in Tally, things will be so peaceful! I'm so excited. Mostly that I'll only be 3/4 hrs. away from my hometown. I sure do miss seeing my mama all the time. She's really the greatest! an I've realized that even more so while being away from her for so long. Same with my sister and nephews. Gosh how I miss them. Anywaze, I gotta get some Zzzz's. I've got so much packing and cleaning to do this weekend it's sick! Hopefully I'll get to update more once I'm in Tally. Who knows when I'll get my computer up and running. Peazils fa now!!
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moving once again... [Jul. 7th, 2005|04:47 pm]
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[mood |anxiousanxious]

I'm moving to Tallahassee (well, Monticello) Florida sept. 1st--in a few months! I'm very excited!! No more South Carolina crap for me!!
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Im in FL again... [May. 17th, 2005|03:35 pm]
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[mood |contemplativecontemplative]
[music |soft rock favorites on the radio]

man i never update this thing. I'm at my mama's right now in Lake Wales. It is so hot down here. I went to Cornerstone fla. again this past weekend. It was kinda boring. I think I'm starting to get tired of the same bands that play every year. I had fun though no doubt. MeWithoutYou was by far the best. Anberlin, Copeland, Underoath, Lovedrug and The Myriad were all good too. I hung out with Ruth mainly. Saw Daniel a few times and got to hang out with an old friend Dorian while I was there. It was great! We had good times. Were pretty worn out though which sucked. I got to see Alisha for the first time the night before last. It's been almost a year since I've seen her! I miss the hell outta her too. She is moving to Texas with her parents on friday. That is freakin craziness!! I'm happy for her though. She'll surely love it there too. It will be great to visit her since I've never been there. We both went to Orlando sunday night and went clubbin. Haha, not really. There was nothing to do! We did meet some guys which strangely enuff were from Texas and so we chilled with them and went to IHOP where they bought us dinner. It was nice I guess. They were pretty cool. Last night I got to hang out with my ex Jeremy. It's been almost a year since I've seen him. He was cute as ever. Always was. We just weren't compatable at all an I never was in love with him even though we were together for a year. Strange how that can be. Peter played a show last night and I saw a lot of ppl from highschool. Daniel and George were there who are great! an my gurl Liz and her man Joe, an Jenny and Kelly came up also which was tight. Alisha came later on and we chilled in the parking lot afta and talked. I'm gonna miss that gurl. I'm going to my sister's tomorrow! I was gonna go on thursday becuz a bunch of ppl are going to see Star Wars tomorrow nite an I was gonna go with but I just realized I hafta work friday lunch so I gotta go back to SC on thursday. :( I'll hafta hang out with some friends tonight fa sho. I think Patrick will be in town!! I love that guy! he has an awesome gurlfriend now too and they might be getting married!! Oh so exciting! I haven't gotten any sun yet. I forgot my bathing suit in greenville. Stupid me. I wanted a tan too man. Oh well. I can't wait to see my nephews!!! Gosh I'm so exited!!! I love them boys soooo much! I hung out in Jax-ville the otha night. Got to stay with Cindy and Ruth. They have such an awesome house!! The one I can move into in August if I do move back to Florida. Haven't decided that yet. I miss my family down here a lot! an my friends. Even though I've made great friends in SC and have lots of fun there I just feel like I need to be in my nephews lives while they are still young. An I miss my mama sooo much it's not even funny. I've had a wonderful time here with her too. It sux that I don't talk to my step family in SC anymore. They are all crazy! an I don't get along with them anymore. That's a main reason for wanting to leave. An I've had a lotta drama go down up there that I wanna get away from. Although, I can't really run from my problems becuz surely I'll just create more if I go elsewhere. Ha, I just feel outta place an as if I don't belong anymore. A crappy feeling. But anywaze...gosh, I just need to meet a wonderful man so that I can settle down and start a family and then I won't hafta keep moving everywhere. That would be nice but prolly won't happen till I'm like 25/30. :( I'm so rambling on this thing. I need to go shower and do laundry. I wonder what I'm going to do tonight?? My last night in Polk County. So sad. Well I'm out!! Prolly won't update for a few more months. Maybe by then I'll know what the heck I'm doing with my life. Ha! Ta ta for now.
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"The One and Only" [Mar. 12th, 2005|12:01 pm]
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[mood |cheerfulcheerful]
[music |Rilo Kiley]

Ellllooo!! I'm in my new apartment now! YAY! It's sooo nice too. My roommate is great and I no longer hafta deal with boys, man, it's wonderful! So one of my bestest friends since like 5th grade (Becky) is getting married april 2nd!! I'm stoked about it! So that means another trip to florida. I'm planning on driving down march 31st and will stay till april 4th. My sis Mckenna (hopefully) is going to come down with me too. More great news too...I get to see Ruth!!!!! and possible Chrissy then!!!!! Ruth said shed come down for Beckys wedding, but if she doesnt then I'll just stop in Jax-ville and see her and Cindy. So yeah, I'll get to see her and Cindy regardless! :) Also, my sister is gonna come over with the kids that weekend so that I don't hafta drive to T-ville. I'm so happy that I'll get to see my nephews!!! It's seriously been too long. Awesome news about Chrissy too--- she got accepted to study abroad in ITALY!! Yes! Italy, I'm so freakin jealous. She's gonna be going there the end of august for a semester. Hopefully she'll come down to W.H. when I do in 3 weeks cuz I NEED to see that hoe! If not, well hopefully she'll come down for cornerstone but I don't know if shell be able to get away from school then or not. Yeah, I'm gonna be going back to Florida mid May for C-stone and to stay with all my friends and family for like a week. It's gonna be fantabulous!! Oh yeah, I'm going to see Jimmy Eat World and Taking Back Sunday April 26th in Hotlanta!!! That will be soooo so awesome!! Gosh I cant wait. Well thats a quick lil update of upcoming things. I gotz to go to work soon so I gotta dip. Peazils!!
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